








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2060 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1469 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2042 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1915 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,071 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fernando | 382 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | steaksausage | 309 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | waga univeristy valedictorian | 248 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Legendary Beagle Master | 133 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | allthingsruined | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fernando | +3.89 | 72 | 47 |
| #2 | steaksausage | +2.25 | 44 | 67 |
| #3 | waga univeristy valedictorian | +1.26 | 49 | 46 |
| #4 | Oopsy Coopsy | +1.13 | 52 | 54 |
| #5 | o7Delta | +0.64 | 69 | 57 |





