








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 484 matches | ||
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3547 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6225 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6652 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4032 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,126,184 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NORSKIMEISTER | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | GameSchaedl -iwnl- | 57% | 128 |
| #3 | MR.JACKPOT | 55% | 447 |
| #4 | luckue[K] | 55% | 225 |
| #5 | colo | 55% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | benters - Остановить войну в Укр | 50% | 119 |
| #10 | Komoda- | 49% | 229 |
| #11 | Neko Ashura | 49% | 74 |
| #12 | eNdryK | 45% | 78 |
| #13 | .axl | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR.JACKPOT | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Komoda- | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | NORSKIMEISTER | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | colo | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | xTy | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luckue[K] | 1409 | 0.29 | 43 min |
| #2 | Komoda- | 706 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | MR.JACKPOT | 629 | 0.06 | 18 min |
| #4 | xTy | 476 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | kixo | 449 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luckue[K] | +2.43 | 82 | 80 |
| #2 | GameSchaedl -iwnl- | +1.36 | 83 | 78 |
| #3 | MR.JACKPOT | +0.91 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | Komoda- | +0.80 | 90 | 69 |
| #5 | colo | +0.77 | 71 | 55 |





