








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 663 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 348 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7318 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5965 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5084 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3875 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,004,587 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GameSchaedl -iwnl- | 67% | 69 |
| #2 | colo | 58% | 234 |
| #3 | MR.JACKPOT | 57% | 316 |
| #4 | lokonat0r | 55% | 225 |
| #5 | kixo | 54% | 310 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lokonat0r | 55% | 225 |
| #5 | kixo | 54% | 310 |
| #6 | benters - Остановить войну в Укр | 53% | 100 |
| #7 | Komoda- | 50% | 112 |
| #8 | xTy | 46% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lokonat0r | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | kixo | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | colo | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | GameSchaedl -iwnl- | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | MR.JACKPOT | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kixo | 562 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | MR.JACKPOT | 364 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | lokonat0r | 295 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | colo | 257 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | Komoda- | 227 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luckue[K] | +2.54 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | GameSchaedl -iwnl- | +1.23 | 86 | 73 |
| #3 | MR.JACKPOT | +0.81 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | colo | +0.36 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | Komoda- | +0.23 | 90 | 68 |





