








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Esplay | 20 matches | 1,398 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3350 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5676 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 3172 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1574 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,766 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anckarström | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Mongofrog | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | vanvetaren | 53% | 70 |
| #4 | Nort0n | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | Marco | 48% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marco | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Nort0n | 10 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Von Pertan | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Bowser | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | vanvetaren | 8 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vanvetaren | +7.04 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | Anckarström | +2.21 | 53 | 80 |
| #3 | jOL | +1.84 | 52 | 51 |
| #4 | Buff Jesus | +0.67 | 42 | 66 |
| #5 | Bowser | +0.34 | 66 | 59 |





