








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Esplay | 35 matches | 1,476 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2837 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3459 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4726 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4309 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,125,873 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Habit º | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | pwnfish | 51% | 55 |
| #6 | Aelg | 50% | 108 |
| #7 | BRRAPAPAPPA | 48% | 120 |
| #8 | jOL | 47% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRRAPAPAPPA | 16 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Von Pertan | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | jOL | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Bowser | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Habit º | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRRAPAPAPPA | 249 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Habit º | 183 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Aelg | 145 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | pwnfish | 130 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bowser | 96 | 0.09 | 3 min |





