








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2107 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1139 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 453 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1183 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,396 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ludwigvonkooopa | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | saffe | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | Stoney | 53% | 168 |
| #4 | Iron | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | blah | 48% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Stoney | 53% | 168 |
| #4 | Iron | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | blah | 48% | 137 |
| #6 | CAMMA | 48% | 40 |
| #7 | Bot_Trax | 47% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoney | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | blah | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | CAMMA | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Bot_Trax | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ludwigvonkooopa | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoney | 665 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | blah | 591 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #3 | Bot_Trax | 239 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | saffe | 111 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | CAMMA | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot_Trax | +1.57 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | saffe | +1.55 | 52 | 75 |
| #3 | ludwigvonkooopa | +0.53 | 59 | 77 |
| #4 | Stoney | +0.30 | 63 | 71 |
| #5 | blah | -0.25 | 77 | 71 |





