








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 860 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 521 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6473 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5798 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5174 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4652 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,257,439 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myrdsi | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | 58% | 118 |
| #3 | MAFFALE | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | M.Y.S.T.O | 56% | 66 |
| #5 | ★Krys | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | c̶o̶c̶o̶♡ | 50% | 206 |
| #11 | Cadaveri | 47% | 213 |
| #12 | Norphe | 45% | 33 |
| #13 | CraX | 43% | 119 |
| #14 | rANDOMIHERO'umad? | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c̶o̶c̶o̶♡ | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ✪ JamBo^_^ | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Cadaveri | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | CraX | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ★Krys | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | veljaN | 891 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | CraX | 492 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | Cadaveri | 362 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | 304 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | Pmaki | 158 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1xu | +2.12 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | ✪ JamBo^_^ | +1.52 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | veljaN | +1.15 | 71 | 79 |
| #4 | rANDOMIHERO'umad? | +1.02 | 79 | 76 |
| #5 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | +0.50 | 64 | 77 |





