








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 796 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5941 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5340 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5674 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3843 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,191,701 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lar3z ツ | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | HuQQy | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮=) | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | Myrdsi | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | ★LiQu_ | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | M1xu | 43% | 119 |
| #17 | 𝖙𝖍ane | 42% | 26 |
| #18 | ★Krys | 41% | 70 |
| #19 | Pmaki | 33% | 24 |
| #20 | ✪ JamBo^_^ | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1xu | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | veljaN | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | c̶o̶c̶o̶♡ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ★Krys | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ✪ JamBo^_^ | 5 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | veljaN | 519 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | M1xu | 373 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | ★Krys | 310 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | rANDOMIHERO'umad? | 201 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | kILLER1 | 178 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rANDOMIHERO'umad? | +3.59 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | M1xu | +2.82 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | Lar3z ツ | +2.39 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | veljaN | +1.98 | 75 | 79 |
| #5 | ✪ JamBo^_^ | +1.63 | 79 | 53 |





