








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 618 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 196 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4152 | 17% |
| Smokes | 7791 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6724 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6338 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,156,877 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ JamBo^_^ | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | CraX | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | 48% | 120 |
| #4 | M1xu | 47% | 213 |
| #5 | veljaN | 47% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | c̶o̶c̶o̶♡ | 44% | 86 |
| #8 | M.Y.S.T.O | 44% | 84 |
| #9 | Välil osuu välil ei (Jeru) | 43% | 53 |
| #10 | rANDOMIHERO'umad? | 40% | 124 |
| #11 | j4ff4p44 | 39% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | veljaN | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | M1xu | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | rANDOMIHERO'umad? | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | j4ff4p44 | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ✪ JamBo^_^ | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | veljaN | 1085 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | M1xu | 763 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | rANDOMIHERO'umad? | 468 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | CraX | 335 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | 281 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1xu | +2.08 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | rANDOMIHERO'umad? | +1.84 | 79 | 78 |
| #3 | veljaN | +1.53 | 69 | 82 |
| #4 | ✪ JamBo^_^ | +1.32 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | CraX | +0.21 | 58 | 79 |





