








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 480 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1367 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1014 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 893 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,934 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 632 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kattshit | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Rawne | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | Markus | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | HekzER | 48% | 52 |
| #5 | Vipro | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 40 Km/h | 46% | 39 |
| #7 | Dnl | 45% | 82 |
| #8 | Knarker | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | 5Hr1Mp | 44% | 50 |
| #10 | Fegil | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HekzER | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Markus | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Dnl | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Rawne | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Vipro | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HekzER | 153 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Rawne | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Markus | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | 40 Km/h | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Knarker | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HekzER | +1.31 | 44 | 61 |
| #2 | Markus | +0.88 | 42 | 56 |
| #3 | Knarker | +0.52 | 72 | 49 |
| #4 | WiceT | +0.49 | 47 | 44 |
| #5 | Dnl | +0.46 | 68 | 30 |





