








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2012 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2688 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2612 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2276 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,244 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Knarker | 47% | 38 |
| #9 | Markus | 47% | 104 |
| #10 | Kattshit | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | HekzER | 46% | 61 |
| #12 | Knurkヅ | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Markus | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Fegil | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | WiceT | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | HekzER | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | HekzER | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Markus | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | HekzER | 193 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | HekzER | 122 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fegil | 87 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kattshit | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |





