








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4543 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3852 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3024 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2324 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,266 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quacc | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Priminity | vaniLLa | 51% | 124 |
| #3 | Pry | Gismo | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | DragZ | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | EroTec.™ | 49% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Priminity | vaniLLa | 51% | 124 |
| #3 | Pry | Gismo | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | DragZ | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | EroTec.™ | 49% | 111 |
| #6 | -D9_ | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Priminity | vaniLLa | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | EroTec.™ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | -D9_ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | DragZ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Quacc | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EroTec.™ | 464 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Priminity | vaniLLa | 295 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Pry | Gismo | 111 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | DragZ | 98 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | -D9_ | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DragZ | +3.95 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | who is peQs? | +1.33 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | -D9_ | +1.16 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | Quacc | +0.38 | 44 | 72 |
| #5 | EroTec.™ | -0.29 | 68 | 74 |





