








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 967 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1056 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 752 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,342 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Delunt | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | Bandit^5 ♿ | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | Eo0 | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | HlNe | 56% | 96 |
| #5 | Sælger benq xl2411t 144hz | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | +Zeeerix@ | 55% | 92 |
| #7 | Vixx | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | Lars^Livsfarlig | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Fab | 31% | 16 |
| #10 | NizoN | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +Zeeerix@ | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | HlNe | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Vixx | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Lars^Livsfarlig | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Eo0 | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HlNe | 272 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | +Zeeerix@ | 226 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Vixx | 102 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Delunt | 101 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bandit^5 ♿ | 98 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eo0 | +5.11 | 82 | 79 |
| #2 | +Zeeerix@ | +1.76 | 64 | 78 |
| #3 | HlNe | +1.28 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | Sælger benq xl2411t 144hz | +0.93 | 70 | 76 |
| #5 | Delunt | +0.81 | 93 | 64 |





