








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 331 matches | ||
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7030 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7528 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4691 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5057 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,628,241 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lars^Livsfarlig | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | SygoPaPa | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | krutte | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | +Zeeerix@ | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | DalleMand | 6 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +Zeeerix@ | 577 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Lars^Livsfarlig | 401 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | SygoPaPa | 305 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | krutte | 222 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bandit^5 ♿ | 190 | 0.13 | 5 min |





