








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1918 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2995 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2854 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1759 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,776 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛N3mo♛ | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | JT | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | BeaZt | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Mr. Pineapple | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | WiKKiD | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | \ Emilkfp / | 49% | 61 |
| #7 | PUF | 44% | 128 |
| #8 | skinkesild35 | 42% | 74 |
| #9 | Happy hunter | 41% | 22 |
| #10 | GraffitiKing | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GraffitiKing | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | BeaZt | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | \ Emilkfp / | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ♛N3mo♛ | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | PUF | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUF | 142 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | \ Emilkfp / | 81 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | BeaZt | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♛N3mo♛ | 69 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | WiKKiD | 48 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛N3mo♛ | +6.28 | 94 | 46 |
| #2 | Happy hunter | +4.07 | 66 | 55 |
| #3 | BeaZt | +3.25 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | JT | +2.86 | 61 | 45 |
| #5 | WiKKiD | +2.79 | 62 | 50 |





