








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Esplay | 56 matches | 1,657 | |
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1642 | 33% |
| Smokes | 977 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 754 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1632 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,989 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AZZA | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | SolenYa | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Mantipanti | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | h7ffe $$$$+ | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | rudde | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | bkw | 43% | 35 |
| #13 | xlb | 40% | 55 |
| #14 | Heimis | 35% | 20 |
| #15 | Kjendiss! | 33% | 30 |
| #16 | Kried15 | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zere | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | xlb | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | munky[G] | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | bkw | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Kjendiss! | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zere | 271 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Adoon | 227 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | munky[G] | 188 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | rudde | 126 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | AZZA | 112 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bkw | +3.23 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | AZZA | +2.90 | 62 | 58 |
| #3 | Mantipanti | +2.72 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | Zere | +1.69 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | SolenYa | +1.07 | 70 | 70 |





