








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Esplay | 49 matches | 1,659 | |
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5821 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5410 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5119 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3748 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,504,258 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jompa | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Shusha | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | goodie | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | Bonkers! | 56% | 140 |
| #5 | gaski | 56% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zere | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | bkw | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Bonkers! | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | gaski | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | BakkiS | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zere | 994 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #2 | BakkiS | 370 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Davy Jones | 219 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Windoor | 219 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Marken | 169 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marken | +5.39 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | bkw | +3.21 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | Ørjan * | +2.04 | 69 | 73 |
| #4 | Zere | +1.97 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | Windoor | +1.69 | 71 | 65 |





