








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 1,741 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1161 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2138 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3153 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1666 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,300 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bonkers! | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | Brage | 50% | 14 |
| #8 | BakkiS | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | h7ffe $$$$+ | 46% | 37 |
| #10 | goodie | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zere | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | rudde | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | h7ffe $$$$+ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Bonkers! | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | BakkiS | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zere | 423 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | rudde | 386 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Brage | 72 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | BakkiS | 60 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | goodie | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |





