








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 955 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8496 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6526 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5959 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4416 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,959 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | .L4zz3r | 47% | 212 |
| #11 | bexy | 44% | 82 |
| #12 | Foeb. | 42% | 200 |
| #13 | dandi | 41% | 46 |
| #14 | MEE | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cucumba | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Foeb. | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | bexy | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | .L4zz3r | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | dandi | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cucumba | 425 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Foeb. | 339 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | bexy | 220 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | .L4zz3r | 198 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | †_El Polaco_ † | 156 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DivIne | +2.00 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | Burigeller ♕ | +1.88 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | GameSchaedl -iwnl- | +1.86 | 80 | 77 |
| #4 | jimi | +1.77 | 72 | 73 |
| #5 | .L4zz3r | -0.23 | 60 | 51 |





