








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3443 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2611 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4398 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3782 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $989,595 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReaxtEU | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | otaku 欧イッ | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | Major Tom | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Abdul Klappstuhl | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | .L4zz3r | 50% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ⚔ N O I Z E ⚔ | 45% | 22 |
| #12 | †_El Polaco_ † | 43% | 28 |
| #13 | siNX' | 42% | 64 |
| #14 | dandi | 41% | 22 |
| #15 | bexy | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimi | 17 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Foeb. | 12 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | .L4zz3r | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | bexy | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | otaku 欧イッ | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimi | 886 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | Foeb. | 251 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | otaku 欧イッ | 180 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | .L4zz3r | 149 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | bexy | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReaxtEU | +6.44 | 94 | 63 |
| #2 | Major Tom | +4.39 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | DivIne | +3.42 | 82 | 65 |
| #4 | otaku 欧イッ | +3.39 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | jimi | +2.03 | 70 | 74 |





