








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 448 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4350 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3377 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2591 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2873 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,723 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bread? | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | COCAINA.MP3 | 52% | 159 |
| #3 | Teemzen | 51% | 91 |
| #4 | Henkka | 49% | 200 |
| #5 | OPP STOPPA | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkka | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Santo | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | axle | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | COCAINA.MP3 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | OPP STOPPA | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkka | 509 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | axle | 475 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | COCAINA.MP3 | 364 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Teemzen | 209 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Santo | 174 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axle | +1.94 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | COCAINA.MP3 | +1.66 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | HONK1 | +0.78 | 72 | 82 |
| #4 | Bread? | -0.07 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | Teemzen | -0.30 | 80 | 57 |





