








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Faceit | 207 matches | ||
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6951 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8259 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6445 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8947 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,955,367 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxB | 56% | 81 |
| #2 | Bread? | 55% | 69 |
| #3 | Teemzen | 54% | 239 |
| #4 | axle | 53% | 366 |
| #5 | Santo | 53% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axle | 1196 | 0.15 | 33 min |
| #2 | HONK1 | 921 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #3 | COCAINA.MP3 | 821 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #4 | Teemzen | 568 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | Santo | 555 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COCAINA.MP3 | +2.11 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | axle | +1.87 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | Santo | +0.69 | 70 | 72 |
| #4 | HONK1 | +0.50 | 73 | 82 |
| #5 | Teemzen | -0.30 | 82 | 58 |





