








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4073 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3429 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3358 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3787 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $893,805 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Henkka | 53% | 346 |
| #7 | OPP STOPPA | 52% | 65 |
| #8 | HONK1 | 52% | 159 |
| #9 | Santo | 51% | 87 |
| #10 | kTz. | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkka | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | axle | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | OPP STOPPA | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Santo | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | HONK1 | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axle | 903 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | Henkka | 898 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | HONK1 | 702 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #4 | Teemzen | 459 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Santo | 280 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COCAINA.MP3 | +2.17 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | axle | +1.63 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | HONK1 | +0.42 | 73 | 81 |
| #4 | Santo | -0.15 | 71 | 72 |
| #5 | Teemzen | -0.39 | 80 | 59 |





