








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1852 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4013 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4525 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5262 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4627 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,642,483 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ridic | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | 🔥ph1re🔥 | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | Occasionally Fatal | 54% | 228 |
| #4 | RuffingtoN- | 53% | 53 |
| #5 | McH|e[X]ile-Hammack | 49% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuffingtoN- | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Occasionally Fatal | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | McH|Infy | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | 🔥ph1re🔥 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | dF|Not So Kool-Aid | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Occasionally Fatal | 331 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | McH|Infy | 179 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | RuffingtoN- | 105 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | McH|e[X]ile-Hammack | 98 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Xéro | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmut +} | +3.85 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | RuffingtoN- | +1.86 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | Occasionally Fatal | +1.41 | 53 | 61 |
| #4 | ridic | -0.19 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | 🔥ph1re🔥 | -0.69 | 48 | 66 |





