








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 899 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 838 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 378 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7124 | 17% |
| Smokes | 9549 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 12120 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 13321 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,300,332 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 983 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Occasional Fatal² | 53% | 66 |
| #2 | Xéro | 45% | 73 |
| #3 | Occasionally Fatal | 45% | 268 |
| #4 | Helmut +} | 44% | 180 |
| #5 | Nads Jr. | 42% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmut +} | +6.38 | 91 | 71 |
| #2 | Occasional Fatal² | +3.65 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Nads Jr. | +3.63 | 72 | 74 |
| #4 | Occasionally Fatal | +2.69 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | Xéro | +1.76 | 66 | 51 |





