








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 738 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 214 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4177 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3517 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 7986 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 4654 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,590,557 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dF|Nads | 63% | 56 |
| #2 | Occasional Fatal² | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | Xéro | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | Helmut +} | 49% | 162 |
| #5 | Occasionally Fatal | 46% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmut +} | +6.05 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | Occasional Fatal² | +3.54 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | Nads Jr. | +3.54 | 72 | 74 |
| #4 | dF|Nads | +3.21 | 67 | 73 |
| #5 | Occasionally Fatal | +2.64 | 52 | 64 |





