








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4872 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5344 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4554 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4407 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,617,236 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dF|Nads | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | Helmut +} | 54% | 228 |
| #3 | McH|Helmut +} | 50% | 62 |
| #4 | Xéro | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Nads Jr. | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McH|Infy | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | McH|e[X]ile-Hammack | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Helmut +} | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | McH|Helmut +} | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Throw The PiN | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McH|Helmut +} | +5.74 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | Helmut +} | +5.03 | 88 | 72 |
| #3 | dF|Nads | +2.00 | 66 | 74 |
| #4 | Occasionally Fatal | +1.66 | 51 | 64 |
| #5 | Nads Jr. | +1.09 | 71 | 72 |





