








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5338 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6642 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3838 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6089 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,946,481 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ej0 | 24 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | CocoaDew | 17 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | krisandr | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Carina | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | rQbbz | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ej0 | 643 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | CocoaDew | 515 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| #3 | krisandr | 429 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | Carina | 331 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | oluwatobi EE | 266 | 0.16 | 8 min |





