








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1421 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1418 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1183 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1454 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,501 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | instagib | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Faze Turnip | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | skep | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | rev | 46% | 98 |
| #5 | Seb+ | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | YaqTheNok | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | RunAwayChicken | 38% | 21 |
| #10 | DEAG + FENT 20K | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | kinzz | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | centra | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faze Turnip | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | YaqTheNok | 3 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Seb+ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | iGot5 #OOFK | 2 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | rev | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rev | 253 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | instagib | 111 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Faze Turnip | 102 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Seb+ | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | centra | 46 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seb+ | +2.11 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | skep | +1.56 | 49 | 63 |
| #3 | iGot5 #OOFK | +1.51 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | mayhem | +1.38 | 87 | 69 |
| #5 | instagib | +0.45 | 81 | 68 |





