








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1043 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1001 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1028 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1416 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,486 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1tter | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Steaux | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | -Verse_ | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | n0ize | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | instagib | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Kmoltz † | 55% | 20 |
| #11 | rev | 52% | 114 |
| #12 | Rusty | 48% | 44 |
| #13 | mayhem | 44% | 39 |
| #14 | centra | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Verse_ | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | rev | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Rusty | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Steaux | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Ky | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rev | 333 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | -Verse_ | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | mayhem | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | instagib | 96 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Steaux | 89 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMXER LFT | +2.74 | 86 | 44 |
| #2 | Steaux | +2.36 | 70 | 77 |
| #3 | n0ize | +1.81 | 85 | 53 |
| #4 | Seb+ | +1.51 | 88 | 55 |
| #5 | ✪ Gnome | +0.72 | 92 | 64 |





