








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 768 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 509 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5579 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6799 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5398 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5353 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,493,622 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 537 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph34r! | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | iGot5 #OOFK | 55% | 202 |
| #3 | ☂eZ | 52% | 252 |
| #4 | iGot5 | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | RunAwayChicken | 49% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iGot5 | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ☂eZ | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | RunAwayChicken | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | iGot5 #OOFK | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ph34r! | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂eZ | 776 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | iGot5 #OOFK | 557 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | RunAwayChicken | 421 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | iGot5 | 382 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | ph34r! | 187 | 0.14 | 5 min |





