








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1464 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1340 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1226 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1496 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,484 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kmoltz † | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Seb+ | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | mayhem | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | Degenerate | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | centra | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | centra | 58% | 33 |
| #6 | rev | 55% | 87 |
| #7 | ✪ Gnome | 55% | 31 |
| #8 | YaqTheNok | 50% | 8 |
| #9 | Faze Turnip | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faze Turnip | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | centra | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Seb+ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ✪ Gnome | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | rev | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rev | 240 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Faze Turnip | 171 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | centra | 141 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | mayhem | 86 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ Gnome | 50 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seb+ | +2.82 | 91 | 56 |
| #2 | Kmoltz † | +2.04 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | instagib | +1.53 | 83 | 60 |
| #4 | Degenerate | +1.32 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | ✪ Gnome | +1.14 | 86 | 68 |





