








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2281 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2991 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3516 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2658 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,194,542 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Brunokus | 38% | 56 |
| #13 | Büüüüü | 37% | 62 |
| #14 | OCB | 36% | 25 |
| #15 | pluebaer | 35% | 40 |
| #16 | Qwer | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonZo. | 26 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ✘ D3r!ck0 ツ | 21 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | W☺ødy² | 14 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Brö | 13 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | Evil_fingA | 10 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonZo. | 1014 | 0.30 | 33 min |
| #2 | W☺ødy² | 754 | 0.28 | 21 min |
| #3 | ✘ D3r!ck0 ツ | 506 | 0.27 | 16 min |
| #4 | Evil_fingA | 354 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Jim Panse | 256 | 0.25 | 6 min |





