








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




133 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13847 | 32% |
| Smokes | 12329 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8750 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8560 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,874,552 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1057 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1v9 ✪ Juli3n ツ | 56% | 62 |
| #2 | pluebaer | 52% | 81 |
| #3 | OCB | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | Kriegsbruder | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | Bukki | 49% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Evil_fingA | 45% | 119 |
| #14 | Dur0n | 44% | 48 |
| #15 | Brunokus | 43% | 214 |
| #16 | XDonFlo | 42% | 90 |
| #17 | FlockwGlock | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonZo. | 3471 | 0.29 | 115 min |
| #2 | W☺ødy² | 1939 | 0.27 | 55 min |
| #3 | Jim Panse | 540 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #4 | Evil_fingA | 280 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Brunokus | 279 | 0.06 | 8 min |





