








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1525 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1587 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1957 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2062 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,910,759 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COOKIE =]]]]] | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Kenny | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | Kaяhumaяko (´・`;) | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | mikza | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | Flopi | 49% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mikza | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | Flopi | 49% | 123 |
| #6 | Olber | 45% | 136 |
| #7 | Logger | 38% | 60 |
| #8 | egmolio | 38% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olber | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Kenny | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Flopi | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | egmolio | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Logger | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olber | 427 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Flopi | 242 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | COOKIE =]]]]] | 129 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #4 | mikza | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kenny | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flopi | +2.69 | 54 | 68 |
| #2 | COOKIE =]]]]] | +2.13 | 78 | 83 |
| #3 | Kenny | +1.38 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | mikza | +0.33 | 59 | 70 |
| #5 | Olber | +0.08 | 56 | 74 |





