








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 16% |
| Smokes | 855 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 641 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 403 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,870 of utility $260 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmurFlopi | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Flopi | 57% | 88 |
| #3 | Jeke | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | Olber | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | egmolio | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmurFlopi | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Flopi | 57% | 88 |
| #3 | Jeke | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | Olber | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | egmolio | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flopi | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Jeke | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | egmolio | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flopi | 162 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Olber | 90 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jeke | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | egmolio | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | SmurFlopi | 12 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flopi | +2.98 | 56 | 67 |
| #2 | SmurFlopi | +1.05 | 46 | 70 |
| #3 | Kenny | +0.82 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | Olber | -0.59 | 50 | 77 |
| #5 | Jeke | -1.21 | 38 | 57 |





