








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5777 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4636 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5104 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5020 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,058 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COOKIE =]]]]] | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | mikza | 54% | 67 |
| #3 | Dr_pippuri | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Kaяhumaяko (´・`;) | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Noukkari | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Helkku | 42% | 26 |
| #10 | Laibba | 39% | 28 |
| #11 | Flopi | 38% | 42 |
| #12 | Logger | 34% | 44 |
| #13 | egmolio | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeke | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Flopi | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | mikza | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Logger | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | COOKIE =]]]]] | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COOKIE =]]]]] | 213 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jeke | 181 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ospemo | 140 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | mikza | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Laibba | 109 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flopi | +2.77 | 54 | 62 |
| #2 | COOKIE =]]]]] | +1.33 | 77 | 83 |
| #3 | mikza | +0.80 | 63 | 72 |
| #4 | Sarutuuba | +0.39 | 60 | 48 |
| #5 | Olber | -0.05 | 56 | 75 |





