








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1619 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1907 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2221 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1591 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,803 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordanskyyy | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | OG Meriadogg Brandycrip | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | SKAFDS | 56% | 101 |
| #4 | Gönndalf | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | RealblockHu$tler | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKAFDS | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Yunoc | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Jordanskyyy | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | OG Meriadogg Brandycrip | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | OG Brodo Fraggins | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKAFDS | 323 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Yunoc | 262 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gönndalf | 159 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | OG Brodo Fraggins | 153 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | OG Meriadogg Brandycrip | 70 | 0.17 | 3 min |





