








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 769 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4791 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3719 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4460 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4176 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,175,599 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dd | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | Jordanskyyy | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | RealblockHu$tler | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | SKAFDS | 50% | 276 |
| #5 | GernhartReinholzen | 49% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | KingGoofLord | 45% | 22 |
| #12 | Deli | 45% | 62 |
| #13 | Illegalogas OG | 44% | 25 |
| #14 | Derk | 40% | 25 |
| #15 | Gönndalf | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKAFDS | 29 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | RealblockHu$tler | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Tao Bai Bai | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | KingGoofLord | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | OG Brodo Fraggins | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKAFDS | 953 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | RealblockHu$tler | 731 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #3 | OG Cripweis Bongsheesh | 562 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #4 | OG Brodo Fraggins | 301 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Tao Bai Bai | 159 | 0.19 | 5 min |





