








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 337 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6217 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6588 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4617 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5402 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,713,458 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | \`, | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | MagicM4ik | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | Jeemis☯ | 63% | 291 |
| #4 | nevis | 63% | 139 |
| #5 | agency main | 62% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Prutos | 61% | 69 |
| #9 | olli | 60% | 289 |
| #10 | Resident | 57% | 201 |
| #11 | JuhK. | 56% | 132 |
| #12 | Plague | 56% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plague | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | JuhK. | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | agency main | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Resident | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Brofessori | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olli | 748 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #2 | Jeemis☯ | 705 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | nevis | 579 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #4 | Prutos | 483 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #5 | Plague | 356 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moonzy | +4.22 | 84 | 80 |
| #2 | Jeemis☯ | +2.67 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | Plague | +1.33 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | nuskamukunen | +0.75 | 73 | 49 |
| #5 | nevis | +0.02 | 76 | 70 |





