








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1119 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 49,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14056 | 29% |
| Smokes | 12985 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10865 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 11268 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,757,536 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 625 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nevis | 63% | 150 |
| #2 | Jeemis☯ | 63% | 328 |
| #3 | moonzy | 60% | 289 |
| #4 | Brofessori | 59% | 103 |
| #5 | JuhK. | 57% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuhK. | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Tuippis | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | LebAinDaHouse | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Resident | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Plague | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moonzy | 1540 | 0.24 | 50 min |
| #2 | LebAinDaHouse | 1031 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #3 | Jeemis☯ | 740 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #4 | nevis | 658 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #5 | Plague | 542 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moonzy | +4.38 | 83 | 81 |
| #2 | Jeemis☯ | +2.80 | 79 | 72 |
| #3 | Plague | +2.49 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | nevis | +0.88 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | Pryyse | +0.45 | 68 | 65 |





