








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3302 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3247 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4487 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3994 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,212,141 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Resident | 52% | 198 |
| #9 | JuhK. | 51% | 105 |
| #10 | nevis | 49% | 78 |
| #11 | agency main | 48% | 143 |
| #12 | \`, | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeemis☯ | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Resident | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | JuhK. | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | agency main | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | olli | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moonzy | 779 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #2 | Jeemis☯ | 734 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #3 | olli | 516 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | agency main | 463 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | nevis | 290 | 0.17 | 9 min |





