








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2066 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1933 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2230 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 972 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $879,003 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyggecasper | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Hugh Mungus | 67% | 52 |
| #3 | SciiwOliver | 67% | 36 |
| #4 | FritteFar | 63% | 134 |
| #5 | ◣_◢ | 60% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Wiese | 60% | 141 |
| #7 | Lorenzo! | 57% | 60 |
| #8 | ☆ 1ceBunny ♡ | 54% | 24 |
| #9 | Ahlquist | 54% | 26 |
| #10 | Ñícô ( °□°) ︵ | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiese | 18 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | FritteFar | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Hugh Mungus | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ◣_◢ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | SciiwOliver | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiese | 397 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | FritteFar | 251 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | SciiwOliver | 97 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ahlquist | 68 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | ◣_◢ | 62 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyggecasper | +3.43 | 66 | 70 |
| #2 | Lorenzo! | +2.20 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | FritteFar | +1.43 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | sCavedaya [Z] | +1.33 | 86 | 64 |
| #5 | Hugh Mungus | +0.79 | 67 | 66 |





