








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3068 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3665 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2691 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2670 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $770,479 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahlquist | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | Lorenzo! | 64% | 53 |
| #3 | FritteFar | 64% | 108 |
| #4 | ◣_◢ | 63% | 41 |
| #5 | SciiwOliver | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FritteFar | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | sCavedaya [Z] | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | 𝓝𝓲𝓷𝓳𝓪 | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | ☆ 1ceBunny ♡ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Hugh Mungus | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sCavedaya [Z] | 244 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | FritteFar | 188 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ahlquist | 146 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lorenzo! | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hugh Mungus | 57 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lorenzo! | +2.28 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | FritteFar | +1.86 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | sCavedaya [Z] | +1.36 | 85 | 64 |
| #4 | ◣_◢ | +1.08 | 72 | 50 |
| #5 | Ahlquist | +0.85 | 71 | 71 |





