








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2805 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6401 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 4274 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2965 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,716,545 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 916 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sCavedaya [Z] | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | FritteFar | 64% | 70 |
| #3 | SciiwOliver | 60% | 57 |
| #4 | Wiese | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | LassT | 51% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Minutnudel | 22 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Dusty1nc | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Wiese | 9 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | Upsekrat | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | LassT | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Minutnudel | 377 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | LassT | 377 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | knudesen | 170 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Wiese | 141 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | FritteFar | 135 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh Mungus | +3.84 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | sCavedaya [Z] | +1.85 | 90 | 69 |
| #3 | FritteFar | +1.48 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | LassT | +1.29 | 87 | 56 |
| #5 | knudesen | +1.06 | 82 | 59 |





