








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Faceit | 280 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8553 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9792 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7987 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8690 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,213,687 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murrX | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | Shorty | 57% | 278 |
| #3 | kdL ' | 54% | 653 |
| #4 | automat1kk | 52% | 563 |
| #5 | PaddyS | 51% | 566 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kdL ' | 54% | 653 |
| #4 | automat1kk | 52% | 563 |
| #5 | PaddyS | 51% | 566 |
| #6 | mrv1n. | 49% | 359 |
| #7 | be4rry2k | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kdL ' | 17 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | PaddyS | 12 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | automat1kk | 11 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | mrv1n. | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Shorty | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaddyS | 3047 | 0.25 | 80 min |
| #2 | kdL ' | 2997 | 0.22 | 84 min |
| #3 | automat1kk | 1666 | 0.14 | 47 min |
| #4 | mrv1n. | 804 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #5 | Shorty | 334 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XiLence | +3.66 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | kdL ' | +0.21 | 65 | 78 |
| #3 | automat1kk | +0.09 | 67 | 76 |
| #4 | PaddyS | -0.70 | 64 | 72 |
| #5 | Shorty | -1.16 | 68 | 59 |





