








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10300 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8469 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6569 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7267 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,297,036 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shorty | 54% | 198 |
| #2 | automat1kk | 52% | 592 |
| #3 | XiLence | 51% | 566 |
| #4 | kdL ' | 51% | 616 |
| #5 | mrv1n. | 48% | 385 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shorty | 54% | 198 |
| #2 | automat1kk | 52% | 592 |
| #3 | XiLence | 51% | 566 |
| #4 | kdL ' | 51% | 616 |
| #5 | mrv1n. | 48% | 385 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kdL ' | 17 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | automat1kk | 10 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | XiLence | 8 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | mrv1n. | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Shorty | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kdL ' | 3104 | 0.24 | 87 min |
| #2 | automat1kk | 1742 | 0.14 | 51 min |
| #3 | XiLence | 1616 | 0.13 | 40 min |
| #4 | mrv1n. | 877 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #5 | Shorty | 260 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XiLence | +3.61 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | kdL ' | +0.42 | 65 | 79 |
| #3 | automat1kk | +0.06 | 67 | 76 |
| #4 | PaddyS | -0.54 | 65 | 71 |
| #5 | Shorty | -1.11 | 68 | 57 |





