








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1001 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Faceit | 279 matches | ||
| Wingman | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13059 | 38% |
| Smokes | 8754 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6498 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6343 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,293,749 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shorty | 57% | 218 |
| #2 | XiLence | 54% | 653 |
| #3 | automat1kk | 53% | 609 |
| #4 | PaddyS | 51% | 616 |
| #5 | mrv1n. | 49% | 417 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shorty | 57% | 218 |
| #2 | XiLence | 54% | 653 |
| #3 | automat1kk | 53% | 609 |
| #4 | PaddyS | 51% | 616 |
| #5 | mrv1n. | 49% | 417 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaddyS | 16 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | XiLence | 14 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | automat1kk | 9 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | mrv1n. | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Shorty | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaddyS | 3294 | 0.25 | 86 min |
| #2 | XiLence | 1802 | 0.13 | 46 min |
| #3 | automat1kk | 1708 | 0.13 | 49 min |
| #4 | mrv1n. | 898 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #5 | Shorty | 273 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XiLence | +3.73 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | kdL ' | +0.65 | 66 | 77 |
| #3 | automat1kk | +0.13 | 67 | 76 |
| #4 | PaddyS | -0.53 | 64 | 74 |
| #5 | Shorty | -1.40 | 67 | 57 |





