








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 281 | 21% |
| Smokes | 294 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 466 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 316 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,764 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyphon | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | SirahBo$$ | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Cabbi | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | nifo | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | DOKZ ))) | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Altekz | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | Chr1zN | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | IceBerg | 31% | 13 |
| #12 | TMB • WAOO | 17% | 6 |
| #13 | Kristou | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Altekz | 1 | 0.0175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nifo | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | IceBerg | 49 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zyphon | 37 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | TMB • WAOO | 18 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | TOP G | 15 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tOPZ | +5.98 | 77 | 83 |
| #2 | Zyphon | +2.27 | 90 | 72 |
| #3 | TOP G | +1.95 | 83 | 75 |
| #4 | Cabbi | +1.88 | 94 | 69 |
| #5 | nifo | +1.02 | 93 | 71 |





