








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 2,269 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1326 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 870 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1171 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,210 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nifo | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Cabbi | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | kronoW | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | Lucky | 69% | 13 |
| #5 | ams | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ams | 69% | 13 |
| #6 | MistR | 69% | 13 |
| #7 | LukasDK8 | 67% | 15 |
| #8 | smooya | 67% | 18 |
| #9 | HUNDEN | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ams | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | HUNDEN | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smooya | 76 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Cabbi | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | ams | 64 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | HUNDEN | 58 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #5 | MistR | 49 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyphon | +3.19 | 93 | 67 |
| #2 | smooya | +2.89 | 96 | 72 |
| #3 | LukasDK8 | +2.86 | 93 | 73 |
| #4 | Lucky | +2.23 | 95 | 39 |
| #5 | ams | +1.89 | 90 | 71 |





